Reduced to a “very fragile” state, she struggled with her dilemma: “Am I fighting to save this relationship or am I trying to figure out who he is?I am either putting my energies into this relationship or I am investigating him – I can’t do both.”The truth was not disclosed to her by him.Imagine you’re doing your weekly grocery run, waiting for your car to be serviced or hanging out with friends at the neighborhood watering hole. You follow these simple steps: If you’re like me, the first thing you do is glance at her ring finger for vacancy. The thing is, though, it could really help your situation knowing upfront what’s going on inside her life, relationship-wise. What if she agrees to go out anyway and you discover she isn’t happy with her situation, is still playing the field or likes you better?
If it bothers you that she always wants to go to fancy restaurants and expects you to pay, say something.
"It may not be the politically correct thing to say, but it's so much better to just be real and acknowledge any weirdness up front," says Esther Boykin, a licensed marriage and family therapist."The financial issues come up right away; men have to assume that they're paying for the first couple of dates," Savoy says.
If she’s in a relationship, she’ll also have pictures reflecting how and who she spends her time with — unless she’s extremely private and doesn’t feel the need to share.
While discussing everyday topics, chances are she’ll bring up her boyfriend (if there is one) or her interest in someone else.
If she really wants you to dress a certain way, she will buy the items for you as gifts, but if she cares that much about your clothes, consider whether or not her priorities are in order.
"Trying to keep up with her lifestyle can lead to resentment in the end," Boykin warns.
The most traumatising time of Lisa Jones’s life began when she agonised for months over the true identity of her boyfriend.
They had been together for six years and she loved him “totally, completely, more than anyone”.“He was the closest person in the world to me,” she says. I thought I knew him better than anyone else knew him.” But she had begun to suspect that he was lying about who he really was.
But if she’s not, it’s time to make your move and strike up a conversation, hopefully giving you your chance at a great relationship.
Truth be told, even if you found out she’s already involved, her respect and attraction toward you will only increase if you try. How do you find out without getting egg on your face? Believe me, most women like the extra attention even if they’re head over heels with another, and doing this will only increase your self-esteem if you try.
And even if there is someone else, your macho self says you can win her over, that you’re the better man. Wait, before I do, let me start by saying this: If she has a boyfriend, should that keep you from trying?